I’ve become unbalanced. This didn’t develop slowly; rather, it seemed to happen overnight. Two things occurred right around the time I realized this problem. Perhaps they even caused me to realize it.

The first thing occurred with Teddy, my dog. Teddy is a standard poodle of sixty pounds and 9 years, with a prancing gait and a beautiful red coat.  One of the first things you would notice about him is his posture, at both rest and in motion. At rest, he looks like a sculpture – head erect, front legs placed directly in front of him, sometimes crossed, sometimes not – holding this position completely still for long periods of time. In fact, when our vet saw him in this position, he said Teddy looked so cool that all he needed was a smoking jacket! When walking or running, Teddy is wonderfully coordinated, no one body part moving more or less than any other part.

It was with some upset, then, when one day I noticed him falling as he walked. Not just a simple fall – more like crumpling. His entire body simply folded and collapsed. At first I thought he must’ve tripped on something and that this was an isolated incident. But, then it continued to happen in various ways: one time he wouldn’t be able to get up from the floor; another time he’d whine when he reached stairs he’d climbed before countless times. Then our vet found that his neurological exam was abnormal, which led to his possible diagnosis of  “Wobbler’s Syndrome.”

 Wobbler’s Syndrome* does not usually occur in standard poodles, more often happening to Great Danes, Dobermans, and  horses. But that fact didn’t exclude the possibility that Teddy had it. Whatever Teddy had, it was causing a definite change in his ability to stay balanced.

The second thing that happened around the same time had to do with shoes. (Mine. Teddy doesn’t wear shoes – yet, anyway.) One of the constants in my life since my teen years has been an admiration for shoes with a wedge heel. It never even mattered to me if they were in style or not, I just liked them, and found them a comfortable way to gain some height without the horror of stilettos. So, it wasn’t much of a surprise, when – due to their being in style again and thus, easily available for the first time in a few years – I ordered a pair of wedges that I recently saw in a magazine, with no thought given to age-appropriateness. (Not that I was trying to look young; I just haven’t quite realized that I’m not anymore.)  

Despite having worn similar styles for years, I was, however, in for a surprise when they arrived.  I wobbled.  Although I didn’t crumple like Teddy, still I wobbled.  And these wedges weren’t even that high.  I wobbled when I walked, and I wobbled when I stood still.  Forget about going down stairs, definitely not safe. There was no fainting or dizziness associated with these findings, so it seemed to be a problem with balance, rather than another organ system.  Could I have my own version of a Wobbler’s syndrome?

The truth was, despite what I said about being surprised by my wobbling, I had noticed problems with my balance long before these wedges arrived at my house.  I would notice myself clutching and grasping for the rail as I went down stairs (of which there are a lot in my house).  I would trip easily and often, even on solid ground, over and above my normal klutziness.  And, at the gym, I couldn’t do, at least for very long, many of the exercises requiring standing on one foot or others requiring an intact ability to balance.  But it wasn’t until I noticed Teddy’s and my -on the newly-arrived wedges – wobbling, that I finally admitted to myself that there was a problem.

Following the advice that I give to my patients, I made sure that serious causes for my new imbalance were ruled out. After this, I guess this new physical reality shouldn’t have come as a surprise, since I know that the vestibular system, which controls balance and is located in the inner ear, deteriorates with age. But my disbelief in my own vestibular malfunction, and by extension, my age, is probably very similar to the time in recent years when I glanced my legs in a mirror and wondered whose they were. Knowing a fact, and accepting that it’s happening to you, are two different things.  Especially when it comes to your age. At least I’ve found this to be true.

This story has a somewhat happy ending. On realizing that I was wobbling, I asked my trainer at the gym to give me exercises that would improve my balance. Happily, I have actually been religious about doing them (totally unlike me since I don’t particularly like exercise) and have noticed a marked improvement.  

What about Teddy? On further investigation, he was given the diagnosis of several cervical disc herniations – “slipped” discs in the neck – with some spinal cord swelling. This occurred due to degeneration of the discs, or the wear-and-tear that accompanies aging.  Teddy was placed on steroids.  He’s much better, though his activity has to be limited – not bad for a nearly 63 year old dog (I had trouble admitting his age as well.) As for those wedges – with great sadness and the realization that my days of wearing wedges – of even moderate height – were probably over – I sent them back.

*Wobbler’s Syndrome in dogs and horses refers to a most-likely inherited abnormality of the cervical vertebrae (spinal column in the neck) in which they are either malformed or misaligned. This causes instability in that area which leads to wobbling.