When my children became teenagers, I remember asking myself where my sons went and who was in their place? It seemed like overnight they had been abducted by aliens. My sweet lovable sons had turned into surly, know-it-all strangers.

Now I know what happened. Past scientific thought looked at the teenage brain as being similar to an adult brain. That is not the case. Research has found that the teenage brain is truly a work in progress. It is a miraculous organ that is capable of learning and multitasking faster than the speed of light. Adolescence is a time when they can amass large amounts of knowledge.

In addition, taking drugs and drinking alcohol are considered learned behaviors. The impact of these substances is far greater in teens than adults. That is why the chance for addiction in the teen years is great.

The problem is that the frontal lobes of the brain are not quite connected at this point and they have not finished developing. The frontal lobes are necessary for executive function. They provide insight and judgment and are important for seeing the impact of their actions on others. That may be why many teens make poor choices, get in car accidents, experiment with risky behaviors; you get the idea. That is why they need us!

We need to educate them on the benefits of healthy choices and be available to help them when they find themselves in complicated situations. I think it is important to be their parents and not their friends. Guide them and help them with their executive functions until they can take over, which will be when they are in their late 20’s. A parent’s work is never done, and this is a critical time when it is important for everyone to be on his or her game.